I know I know, I suck..

Dear sygg,
Dear, in many ways, i'm a loser. i dissapointed many individuals in my life, not to mention my family, frens and you.
dear, i always wanted to tell you, how interior i felt in front of you. you see dear, in many ways, i am lame. i suck. i never heard and do many things. i never remember anything important and or please you in many ways. i, in many ways and words, is a humble loser. dear, u, have a car, that drives me everywhere whereas i, stay at home , cooking junks. you are the one who comes to see me, and bring me out. you are learning skills, and have business for yourself. whereas i, goes to work when time, my lousy works that no one respected, even when i'm happy for that. i never had enough money, and i depended on you in vast ways. i could not be there when you really need me, or help when you really need it. its like, the position of our relationship has tumbled and opposed. i.. am lame. i am only good at making stupid nonsense and anger everyone around me.
dear, i really felt tiny when i'm with you. or with our frens, never had the feeling of superiority came to me when they should have. and i hope, just a tiny faith in me, that u and our frens, accepted me they way i am, the way i had grown to be. i'm no superman, no extraordinaire. i'm just me. a rusty, stupid me.
dear, never the less, i love you. and i hope you'd never read this. i never though to put it here, but i never expected i had the guts to do it. just, don't hink less of me, ok?

till then,
a loser,
syafiq.

2010 + 0001 = newer beginning?

haha.

NO!

Ehem. Well, maybe. Who knows? Maybe. I DONT KNOW. Do you?

Hm.

Well, bak kate kwn aku mek, Kepulangan Seorang Blogger? :P pegi makan laa mek!

haha!

I'm older now. got some more zits. obnoxious. not taller thought.

owh well.

well baby, i guess its you and me with avid listener isnt it dear?

blog : nope. just you.

haha.

sarcastic.

well, announcement everybody. me started back this blogging thing. youre with me right Barney?

Barney : yeah bro! and get a suit!

*silence*

well, see ya.

Happy 2011.

hello world...

hi real world. news flash from the dead and drifted. today i got to spend time with computers and limited internet connection. so blogging is the only option for fun apparently. and looks like fun's over. swoooshing back to hell. will revive on april 9 :).

hope for you to hear me then.


till then real world.

paranoiaa!!!

hari ni patutnye aku happy. tau nape? sbb.. aku dah trperuk kt asrama slama 5 minggu, di seksa dgn bdk3 kt sane, kene blaja smpai lewat mlm, tdo lmbt bgn awal, tdo dlm kelas pastu kene marah, tdo time prep kene tembak pistol air. patutnye aku gembira sbb family aku dtg dr kl nk jumpe aku sbb nk amik brg. next week aku balik naik bas. parent xley amik. so patutnye hari ni aku relax.. kn3?

tp!

aku ptg td marah3 sbb aku brkejar turun bwh ingt mak aku dah dtg. pengumuman pn suro aku dtg bwk kd outing. rupanye bdk3 suro aku amik earphone. dah la xkemas brg lg. dahtu berlari bwh. kene gelak lg. then aku rase ngntok. tp baru nk tdo mami dah smpai. xpe3. blet tdo kn hotel kn3?
dah tu smpai hotel okkkk. smpai td lagu3 dlm ipod aku kene delete habis. fuck itunes. fuck itunes. then dgn kebabian pemandu yg xreti nk berhemah then dgn adik3 aku lg yg bergaduh pasal bende bodoh then libatkn aku. dh laa lg xde privacy kt hotel ni. rimas ko tau?




then pasal syg. sygg... sy skrg dgn parents. dgn ayah n mami yg suke check3 brg sy. bkn sng sy nk jawab call or sms . sms plak dah susah sket sbb hp sy tu dah mcm ****. n pliz jgn buat consumption yg sy xske k? boleh? ok sygg. n ye . sy hacks sygg. syg sorg je. ingt k?



huh.

paranoia. bende ni boleh buat aku gile klau kene slalu sgt.

siyes.

aku benci ko paranoia.

time kasih sbb slalu temankn aku.

huh.

dear

dear sygg. im sorryy sbb my phone kene rampas. i know sy xcall sygg sgt dah. sbb phone xde. lg pon dorgg xnk bagi gne phone dorg sgt. dorg takot kene ramapas lg./ cian kn? emm sorry sgt. btw diut sy dah 0 n n nnti klau bley sy cbe call k? tau3
sorii.. love you.. :*

ranting - grey matter?

here's to the reincarnation of the never deceased.

here's to he who thinks he's no one.

alone and petrified.

and if even thinks that you're in peace.

you got me to worry about.

this is not you dude.

what happen to the happy-go-fucking-lucky you?

you're all sad and distured.

and you don't even told me about it.

i know.

things must be hard for you.

things are hitting you hard.

your thing are hard (?!)

but you should know.

we're here laa wei.

i know we haven't talk for a while.

but i can't stand it reading you like that.

you know.

you belong with us.

eventhough the harsh words and smelly signature.

you're still with us.

you are what you eat.

and you are what you say.

say it like this.

and take it back like that.

you might can't understand this

(even i can't)

but deep down.

dude, you're my friend.

you can anything to me.

and you are not DEAD.

dear good friend,

this is to you who always did give the chance,

and gave back to him the chance.

to you who always did felt appreciated.

but you are.

deep down inside.

in the heart of souls who never open up their heart.

fuck me.

fuck you.

spirit and soul awaken.

may he revive in peas.

a lot of it.

A Post To Her

Dear Love,

For that very happy day, I've bought you a white rose. I ought to give to you. but i am much too far away. so i will kept in. by my side. Just like i kept you. inside my heart. so on our anniversary. on that happy day. there's only one thing i want to say. you.ve heard it many times before. others had heard of this also. but on that day, it will be special. for us al least. ok sygg? ehem. nk ckp ni.

I LOVE YOU. CINTA YOU ALWAYS :*

happy anniversary.

ranting - something u never think you never expected.

its like this.

dude. you care for a girl. thats a good thinG! yeah! eventhough you didnt tell me n doesnt really support me in caring for my girl, its ok! dude,its a REALLY good thing. you know you can tell me anything right. so maybe i forgot or didnt LOOK like i paid attention, but i did man. you're the one that told me not to hide my feeling. am i right? hu-hu.

c'mon.

see. and i also HEARD that the girl rejected you. and your frens REJECTED you in some way (i know dudes. i know) i mean, you know the guys are always there for you. you can tell us anything even if you cant reach me. there's always HIM and HIM. see we do care. n you camera isnt as important as your feeling. dude, seriously. i known you way back even you aint got no camera.

ok.

by the end of this year, we'll make another pillow talk and this time YOU'RE holding the pillow ok? n i'm gonna make sure you spill everything OUT down to you biggest-not-yet-published-dirty-little-BOXER :P (ok secrets).

haha.

cheer up k? thats what you always told me. now its my turn.

ok?

btw.

we're still friends. even if you're never bought that camera.

ok?

later dude.

desire - laptop

yaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is the laptop that i had my eyes on for a while now. it the new (or so i thought) DELL STDIO 15 ARTIST EDITION : MIKE MING . yeah!!!!! haha now for the details

price : rm2699++
dateline to buy this thing : 2015 (by then, i dont think this is the best for me.)

fyi, i seriously admire the artwork. just wanted that skin anyway.
now the real details.

Specifications

General
Built-in Devices Wireless LAN antenna , Stereo speakers
Width - 14.0 in
Depth - 10.16 in
Height - 1.48 in
Weight - 6.0 lbs
Color - Jet black
Notebook type - Thin-and-light (4-6 lbs.)
Screen type - Widescreen

Processor
Processor - Intel Core 2 Duo T5850 / 2.16 GHz
Multi-Core processor technology : Dual-Core
64-bit processor - Yes
Data bus speed - 800.0 MHz
Chipset type - Mobile Intel PM965 Express

Cache Memory
Type L2 cache
Cache size 3.0 MB

RAM
Installed Size 3.0 GB / 4.0 GB (max)
Technology DDR2 SDRAM - 400.0 MHz
Environmental Parameters
Min Operating Temperature 32.0 °F
Max Operating Temperature 95.0 °F
Humidity Range Operating 10 - 90%
Shock Tolerance 110.0 g @ 2ms half-sine pulse (operating) / 160.0 g @ 2ms half-sine pulse (non-operating)
Vibration Tolerance 0.66 g @ RMS (random) (operating) / 1.3 g @ RMS (random) (non-operating)
Storage Controller
Storage controller type Serial ATA

Storage
Floppy Drive None
Hard Drive 320.0 GB - Serial ATA-150
Storage Removable None
Hard drive type Standard

Optical Storage
Type 8X Slot Load CD / DVD Burner (Dual Layer DVD+/-R Drive) - Integrated
CD / DVD read speed 8X
Optical Storage (2nd)
2nd optical storage type None

Card Reader
Card reader type 8 in 1 card reader
Supported flash memory cards MultiMediaCard , Memory Stick , SD Memory Card , xD-Picture Card , SDIO , Memory Stick Pro

Display
Display Type 15.4 in TFT active matrix
Max Resolution 1280 x 800 ( WXGA )
Widescreen Display - Yes
Video - Graphics Processor / Vendor Intel Graphics Media Accelerator X3100
Video Memory 256.0 MB

Audio
Audio output type Sound card
Audio output compliant standards High Definition Audio

Notebook Camera
Camera Type Integrated
Sensor Resolution 2 Megapixel

Input Device(s)
Input device type Keyboard , Touchpad

Networking
Networking 10/100 Ethernet , Network adapter
Networking / Wireless LAN Supported Yes
Wireless NIC Dell Wireless 1397
Data link protocol IEEE 802.11n (draft) , 802.11a/b , IEEE 802.11b , Ethernet , IEEE 802.11g
Networking standards IEEE 802.11b , IEEE 802.11g , IEEE 802.11n

Expansion / Connectivity
Expansion Slots Total (Free) 1.0 ( 0.0 ) x Memory , 2.0 ( 1.0 ) x ExpressCard/54
Interfaces 1.0 x Network - Line-out/headphones - Mini-phone stereo 3.5 mm , 1.0 x Hi-Speed USB - Ethernet 10Base-T/100Base-TX/1000Base-T - Mini-phone 3.5 mm , 1.0 x IEEE 1394 (FireWire) - VGA - 19 pin HDMI Type A , 1.0 x Audio - HDMI - RJ-45 , 1.0 x Audio - Line-in - 15 pin HD D-Sub (HD-15) , 1.0 x Microphone - Input - 4 pin USB Type A , 4.0 x Display / video - 4 pin FireWire , 1.0 x Display / video - Mini-phone 3.5 mm


pliz visit this website for more info

http://www.dell.com/content/topics/topic.aspx/global/products/laptop_studio/topics/en/us/us/dhs/laptop_studio_15_17_ming?c=us&cs=19&l=en&s=dhs&redirect=1

ranting - raya

it raya!!!!!!!!!!!
RAYA!!!!!!!

RAYA
RAYA
raya

raya..

:)

aa raya. the festive season. a day to celebrate our victorious effort of fasting for a whole month n going thru rough n challenging test . aa what a day..

as been told in my last post, i dnt feel raya coming. idk. maybe something just isnt there. ow well. raya's here anyway. so lets start celebrating ! :D

day 1.

i started my day with waking up in the morning and sleeping in the mosque while the khutbah is given out. all dressed up in my bju melayu n sampin plus songkok, then sleeping in the back of the mosque. nice start :)

then got back home, start the photo session and maaf memaafkn, duit raya (cant miss this babeh ! :D:D ) and eat.

since i am already EHEM 16, i dont get that much duit raya. and SOME people has been mistaking me for a dad. yup. A FATHER OF A CHILD. nice huh? :)

Tthen after visiting some relative, i got back home n sleep. ow yeah. (in the "jim carrey" accent) i slept. n it was NICE.

woke up , eat bla bla bla
bla bla bla
bla bla..
....

well that was boring!

ow well. a post of total boringness.

this is a rant anyway. why'd u care?

haziq dont read this.

ranting - straight from my heart 1

hi. and hepi raye. :)
sooo i just got home. n while i am over there at mrsm kb, i've decided. from now on. im gonna write in my blog. n letting things out little by little. cos since no one is trying to discover this heart of mine. i guess i just let it out n let myself read it. i know it sounded a little pathetic. but then its me what do i care what you think? ive learned recently that if you let people get the better of u. then u better off dead since you've become worthless to the society n no one wants you anymore. and isnt that sad? :)

well then. let get this ranting started.

in this post, im gonna tell you something. in the next post, im gonna write something else. simple as that.

you see. 3 weeks fasting in a boarding school isnt all that fun. mrsm kb isnt that kind of place that promise you the fasting fun. to me at least. and being there actually tortured me in some way. i got a bit feverish, got gastric juice in my stomach, missing my home,frens+gf, wishing i wasnt there, intervention for addmath (i got 9% for log formative test), havent sahur for a few continuous days, being kick and stabbed deeply in the back (real deep), got me wishing for stuff i am never gonna get (not in this 10 years maybe) an many unpleasant memories. and the worst thing is. i dont feel excite for raya :(. i mean, usually when raya is near, u start to feel excited. feel happy and thankful. but then being there, with the pressure and the routine and lack of mass media to tell me that raya is coming, i felt like. raya isnt as exciting as it used to. :((

then when its time to go home. the excite aroused a little bit. since i get to go home. later my frens hp (which i depend on) got taken by the warden, im going to kelantan for a few days for raya. stil ok. i guess i still have some days. btw im going back to kelantan at 3am after this. ok2. its ok. i can deal with this.

then it got worse.

i started to dig "i gotta feeling - bep" since i do got that feeling. :) while picking me from the bus station, my dad isnt in his good mood. he cranky and sleepy u see. so eventhought he said to me earlier "nnti kite g ah jj lps amik abg since jj ttp pkul 1 n you can get ur stuff" . feeling excited, i was hoping forward for it. then my hope crushes to pieces. teeny teeny pieces of dzarah. then i felt like tears. or so i thought. then my gf.. she got touchy. ow great. its ok. its ok. i can work all of this out. i got that feeling remember? so after top up my hp and fill my tummy. off to home to achieve my feeling. then it crushes again. my gf is still touchy. i dont know why. she had that "im disappointed in you " and she say she's ok. i dont like that. i SERIOUSLY DONT LIKE IT. shes not like the herself i was hoping her to be when i talk to her. i dont want all that missing go to waste. its ok sayang. :* and guys. i contact u guys nnti tau. dont worry :) :) .

well then, while i still try to sort out my night, i hope you guys enjoyed your ramadhan. n make out the best out of your raya. love u sygg n frens n all . till my next post. bbye

there's this...

there's this thing i wanted.. a phone
there's this family i cherish.. my family
there's this girl i like.. Qila
there's this group i hang with.. uguk2 family
there's this song i wanted..
there's this school i goes to.. mrsm kb
thers's this..
and that..
but then..
all of them lie deep in my heart.
just waiting to come out.
but then again..
i cant get them all out at 1 time..
then something taclessly will happen.
so i'll just keep them neat.
deep in my heart.
and let them be explore.
by those who can.
and let them be wonder.
let them be there.
till those who can make me.
fill out these thing.
and express them.
without being jugde.
which we human tend to.
discarding n rejecting those things.
without thinking the consiquences.
the afterworks that will happen.
to the expressor.
and that is life.
there's his one quote.
"don't go with life.
grow with life."
-anonymous-

i am going back to penang! waa :((

i dont wanna go back. dont wanna. my time here is not finished yet.i wanna stay here longer. its gonna be 2 month till my next vacation. its a LONG time ok! i dont wanna.. there are still things i wanna do. people i wanna see. dont send me back to that torture collage ! waaa i dont wannaa! me dont wanna....

isk isk.. would some one hold me?

i think i need a hug.. :(

yes, im not the president ure not looking for..

when blogging. i have every right to say what i want. im not talking shit. im not insulting the president or anyone. im talking bout dissapointment. n who cares if my speeling is wrong. right? right? so i wanna talk about me not being the EMC president. so no one out there can think bad of me just because i post this, ok?! ok.. sorry for the harsh word (if u do think its harsh..)

at my school, theres a comitee called the English Motivational Comitee where its theyre job to motivate people to talk more english. and frankly, im one of them.

last thursday night. an election for the new office bearer for the EMC 09/10 has commenced. i myself, truth be told, wanted to be the president. n yes. i wanted it badly. so i try to convinced some of them to votefor me. n yet my street cred were not all that. so i didnt get the title. it get worse when i didnt get any title at all.. yeah maybe im being a title-freak but still.. i wanted a title. something that can make people know me. a reason of existence in that college. but sadly. no title for u. :(

huh.. in my debate team. im the only on without a title. my first speaker is the ict networker. he do the blog for the emc. my second speaker is the photographer for the emc while my third speaker. is the president. leaving me. nothing. i felt left out. but then. it all come back to me. its my fault that everybody else thinks im capub-ing or syok sendiri. maybe i should fix myself. have some motivation for myself. or.. i could just stay like this. being the guy that none approved of. huh...

well. thats all for my dissapointment post. i hope those who did read this wont jugde me badly. if u do. then i apologive to make u even thought of me . sorry n do visit again if u have time. gudbye now. n have a nice evening.

ps; my name is syafiq.. n thanks again..

blogging in secrets :D

hahaha. finally! with bongek out of the way, i can blog! :D hehe fyi. i am officially in the mrsm kepala batas debate team n for being a debater, i got to use the computer n open blog (secretly of cos.). well, today we should be practising for tomorrow friendly, but knowing the sloth syafiq, i blog. haha guys! if you do read this. know that i am HANDSOME! HAA! been long since i last praise my big butt! n n mothers day are coming up. so expect a card from me mom. and and and sygggg i miss you.. :* guys im going to bentong so wish me luck. n wish i dont flunk! well, thats all for now. until next time teacher is not in. later n gudnite!

ps; dude, if you do read this. well, have fun. i think.

:P

till then..

till then btho.. till then guys.. till then everybody.. nnti kte jumpe lg tau,.. till then.. so long and gud nyte...

bbye. assalamualaikum..

(ye mek aku bg salam ni..)

:)

yeahh..

yeahh.. its been fun. a week in btho . a week holiday while others go to school. for the past three days smkbtho2 has seen my block face n stupid behavior. yes.. its been fun. but soon back to kb i go. doing routine stuff. huh. boring!! i wanna stay here a little bit longer! a year maybe? haha dream on syfq! it was nice while it lasted. got to see old frens. gf. exchanging stories. huh gud times. gud times.


p/s: dude. i know we've been i evading each other. or is it was me? btw sorry. hope we can meet.

later now. :*:*

tell tales of telling tales from the tailoring teller himself

:O
....so. i was told to update my blog. so now i will and i am. as u can see from the title, this is a "..tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifiying nothing.." (taken from life's BRIEF candle;shakespear) . where was i? aa yes. baby. i know i have been an annoyance,ngade3 sunnuva gun but sorry if i really DID hurted your feeling. baby im sorry. i didnt know what i did. maybe it was something big or maybe just our normal misunderstanding but still. sorry baby..

damn *carut3* mp3!

i just got an mp3. it look nice. bluei in colour. i got it at ts with the price rm65. now the damn thing is . THIS THING BROKE! IT WONT PLAY MUSIC OR RECHARGE OR EVEN RESPONDE TO MY PC. i mean i just got it like 2 days ago. n this is what happen? ts is a long way from here n it gonna cost me lot just to get there. plus the time that is running out. the warranty is only 1 month ! plus the time to repair it. HUH!! my dad is totally gonna kill me. if i asked him to go to ts n repair it. damnn man...

any volunteer in helping me doing this?

Honey Im Home..!!

I am home! home fr the next 10 days from prison called MRSM KEPALA BATAS! where the prisoner living there r practising mental killing spree with a few exception who r killing physically. it is a time when saying hi (to the opposite gender, ususaly he seniors) is wrong n not saying hi (again,to the seniors. all of them) is wrong. the only right thing to do here is study n get throwned out from class if u dont finish up ur hw OR get in the class thru the window if ure late. yes its one of those places where if u dont survive here. u wont survive anywhere. yes welcome to MRSM KEPALA BATAS. where you classroommates(male usualy) r ur enemies..

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *evil laugh effects

well. thats all for now. aside from the piles of hw n dirty laundry. nothing much of the many memoirs that i wanted to bring back. now i gotta go my reading. reading what? KREKO of cos. :D

bbye now.